> wassup guuuurl, yt?
> youre not still mad about the thing with your atari are you? cmon even you got to admit that was classic.
> well im just gonna talk at you, tell you bout my first session with this new game.
> i feel like i gotta mention the weird-ass title screen, but… all i remember is this shitty laughin black bird. it felt like a really annoyin dream. wassup with that?
> movin on tho, typical freakin (“fraggin”? new game lingo to pick up, yay~~ </sarcasm>) tutorial mission. unhelpful and doesnt reward for shit(“drek”… ill get the hang of it). so there i was, right, barely past character creation, wakin up in some rundown facility when some dudes in matchin duds(complete with wires stickin out everywhere) start takin apart my login point. scavs i guess, only these scavs had a look in their eyes like they were starin death in the face. spoiler alert: yea they totally were. i guess. obv redshirts lol.
> whats with the red squiggles under half my words?
> so i try to talk to em but sure enough theyre filler npcs. cant get a response out of the dumb things. so i get up and start gettin used to the controls, find my startin gear under the head cushion(comfy af, totes keepin) in the pod. my heads up display finally starts up when i grab this fancy pda-lookin thing outta the bag and i guess the npcs scripts kicked in at that point cuz one of ems writin “halp” in the ground with his heel.
> so i follow em out from a distance if only to make sure the quest isnt about helpin them carry scrap metal cuz frag that drek(see im gettin there)…
> everythin is ruins outside, groovy post-apoc look, i dig it
> meanwhile im checkin my new gear, which looks like its seen some use. aint much really. a cool mask, some sticks that i think hold the game currency, some lockpicks, a few fancy sci-fi grenades and a sweet-lookin pistol. i think im gonna uphold my tradition of pwnin dudes with the starter weapon… im gonna name it after you, aint that cute?
> so then i catch up with the guy and he starts drawin numbers in the air with his finger. punchin em in, my hud offers to call it, so it mustve been a user id. icq built-in? turns out to be a guild officer or somethin, he asks where i am and says to keep followin his guys.
> they eventually get to this old warehouse so i climb a tree to look through the window. they were meltin down all that scrap so i guess it was a craftin hall or whatever. after a while a couple of actual players show up wearin the same colors. they talk a bit like they dont know wassup, one of em climbs the same tree im. dude in the tree(cool, playable ork race) jumped three feet when i spoke, how could he not notice me lol. but meanwhile his buddy strides into the warehouse like a prize buck with a deathwish, so ork dude(name of “go” i think) jumps down and i still dont know what the mission is about so i decide to get a closer look too.
> before we even make it there, gos friend(go calls him “smee”), apparently an elf(what? how does that even happen?) is chased out by bullets. he takes the time to pretend it was part of the plan, tho, points for that. we drop the two redshirts that come out and were joined by another guy introduced as “mind spike” who tries to remove the wired vests the gangers are wearin, which are rigged with boom and start beepin. it doesnt go well for at least one of em.
> we go inside and from there its just a good ol fight. smee and mind spike are handin out sweet magic blasts like candy, im shootin my new favorite gun, and go is just kickin fools silly. but meanwhile some cultist-lookin cats are preparin somethin and then even more hell breaks even looser.
> i cant really remember what happened next. some fiery demon ghost thing pops out. then it leaves? im so confused at this point but i guess mission complete?
> so now thats over and i still dont know what the factions in this game are or even what the point of the whole thing is. i think i might stick with these guys, at least until i figure this drek out.
> and here we are. weird day. i guess you must be sleepin, huh? im gonna jack out and do the same. see you around, Quinn.